How do you pray when you are suffering? The first thing we pray is, "Lord, deliver me! I am hurting." And I know that it could never be God's will for me to hurt. However in the Garden before the cross Jesus prayed, "Father, take this cup from me. But not my will but Your will be done." I am so thankful that it was God's will for Him to suffer. He was bruised for my inequities. He was wounded for my transgressions. Has it ever occurred to that your suffering may be the thing God will use to bring someone God loves to His grace?
You have heard the statement, "We are the Lord's hands and feet." We are His hands. And when others see the nail marks in our lives, like His disciple, Thomas, they may come to Him as their Lord and their God.
I agree that we should pray for God to deliver us from pain. But we also need to be willing for God to use our heartache, our suffering our loss and failure. When we suffer we need to pray for Jesus to be glorified in our pain. And we can pray for God to use our suffering to bring about His glorious will in someone else's life.